Dan's 17th Birthday

Dan had his birthday party on Sunday. As this was the week-end of the Royal Wedding the theme just had to be "A Right Royal Garden Party". We spent ages preparing props and costumes while Nick and Gabby made the invitations, but all the same, there was an awful lot to do at the last minute.

Having sprayed all the garden furniture gold and decorated the house and garden with flags and pictures, we all thought Sunday morning would be pretty easy: No pressure. The bouncy castle would arrive at 9 am and then Hanna planned a cooking session to make fairy cakes and that sort of thing, so we would have an easy run-up to the party which was to begin at 13.00 hours, precisely. All that I had to do was put copies of "The Tatler", "The Field" and "Horse and Hound" in the downstairs loo (Royal Privy, Royal Flush or Royal Wee?)

The huge bouncy castle duly arrived but it wouldn't fit in our garden, so the men took it away again! Now our plans lay torn to shreds at our feet. Hanna started phoning around for alternatives while we thought about what to do instead. Boules? (Lethal if you get one in the head). Croquet? (Have you seen what a croquet mallet can do?) Archery?? Perhaps not.

In desperation Hanna phoned the guys back and pleaded with them. They agreed to return in 30 minutes if we removed our rockery first. I have a bad back so my job was to manage Dan while Nick, Gabby and Hanna armed themselves with implements and plant pots and leveled the site, just in time.

While all this was going on Dan was frantically signing to me. His sign was stroking his cheek which means "Pretty Lady".

Almost immediately, three very pretty girls on bicycles appeared at the door. They were Sophie, Kathryn and Holly and they were the answer to Dan's prayers and mine. I set them to work moving plants and laundry; the reward was to be a bounce on the castle.

The rest of the guests arrived as expected between 1 and 2 pm. Dan mugged them all for presents on the way in, but didn't actually join in the party until he was sure they were all here and that he had extracted all the goodies. After that we settled down for a lovely party in the garden for the rest of the afternoon .

If you are still with me at this point you may be asking, "What happened to the Royal Garden Party theme"? Needless to say, based on past experience, we were all wondering what to expect from our neighbours, The Lambtons. They generally raise the bar when it comes to dressing up so we spent a lot of hours trying to guess what they would do: Security Men? Royal Family? Politicians? In the past it's been Star Wars, Super Heroes and Pirates.

This time it turned out to be "Nuns and Vicars" (Typical!) At least it wasn't "Vicars and Tarts" again. Actually they were supposed to be "Nuns and Bishops" but they were all out of bishops' frocks and Nigel had to come as a cardinal. (If you thought he was the nun, you are obviously ex-RAF.) If you are really current with the news you will know that nuns are HOT! There's a big debate about one of the nuns caught on video at the royal wedding who looked pretty fit and was wearing Reeboks. 'Word is that she is a "Ninja Nun" and head of security at Westminster Abbey, or possibly the head of MI6.

So how did we combat the Lambton challenge? Hanna out-trumped everyone by coming as HM Elizabeth II and I headed up the overseas VIP list as a Middle Eastern Ambassador, complete with sinister shades and a red fez which I sewed myself. I also sell rude post cards if you are interested.

We were so pleased to see so many people turn out for the party. The youngsters were a delight and they were so well behaved that Hanna and I managed to chat to all the grown ups. All of the presents were appropriate for Dan and so, thanks to Hanna, was the food; lovely cakes, jellies and ice-creams, all made without sugar.

Nick and Gabby did a fantastic job of decorating the house and acting as kitchen staff and

waiters throughout. I think we might do it again next year.

I have enjoyed looking through our photos. A lot of them were taken on the iPod using a retro-style camera application. I like the way they look like old Polaroids from the 60s.

You can see all of our pictures by clicking HERE and the Lambtons' pictures by clicking HERE.