I Stop for Art.

The real deal. Lawn Art at its best.

At Motel East

If you drive through any small New England town and explore the residential areas, you will see wooden houses with expansive lawns. Many of the houses will be flying the national flag and some of the lawns will sport "lawn ornaments", such as flamingos, wooden bears, geese or white-tailed deer, mostly bought from a shop. But some householders like to strike out on their own and make their own lawn ornaments.

I guess pressure from your neighbours might make for conformity in the suburbs, but out in the Maine Woods or the forests of New Hampshire, you can do what you like. Even the bought product can be a bit more on the wild side.

Attracted by a large, roughly sculpted black bear at the roadside, we visited a wood-carver near Concord, New Hampshire. As we pulled in, the chainsaw-carpenter himself eyed us with suspicion; hostility even. I must admit that I nearly reversed out of there and showered him with gravel, but some of us were already out of the car so I was forced to make appeasing noises, saying how great his place was and asking if he carved all this stuff himself. He grunted at me so I guessed he wasn't going to carve us all up straight away. I left the engine running though.

Don't tell him where I live.

The collection in his yard and in the cabin was pretty eclectic, with lots of bears, pirates, skeletons, zombies and more colourful bits and bobs from the Far East. If you bought this kind of thing, I'm guessing that you would also have a big pick-up, a lot of tattoos, a few motorcycles, a snow-mobile, a very big chainsaw, a collection of guns and a large trailer-home in the woods. Don't get me wrong; I love red-necks. In fact, I think my brother is one.

If you want to buy or commission a wooden lawn ornament without risk, I can recommend a visit to the Maine State Prison Craft Shop in Thomaston, near Rockland. The interns make all sorts of wooden objects including model boats, wildfowl decoys, kids' toys, furniture and kitchen gadgets.

Electroglide in rainbows.

Their shop window is eye-catching to say the least, with a full-sized carving of a Hell's Angel with his mermaid girlfriend, guitar and a trident, on a "chopper". I'm guessing that the back-story here is that this guy was riding his Harley along the shore when he spotted a mermaid out in Casco Bay. He dived into the cold water to win her heart, only to be confronted by old Neptune himself. Of course he slit Neptune's throat with a flick-knife, stole his trident and dragged the girl back to his bike for a night at Motel East. She seems to have enjoyed the experience though. It's an old Maine legend.

While my family was shopping, I got chatting with one of the staff and asked him about the sights to be seen in Rockland and if the street car still ran, but he explained that he had incarcerated for about 20 years and so was a bit out of touch!

Have a look at the website: Prison Craft . I think they need to lock up a few more IT people and so improve their web presence, but you get a flavour. Don't forget to come back here though. The best bit is at the end!

The coolest lawn-ornaments are home made, and some of them really qualify as art. I'm not talking about the sculptures on neat lawns in front of artists' studios, but real people's homes, out in the wilds. Our favourite is just outside the Passamaquaoddy Reservation at Eastport. I can't find any information about them on line, but these people are the real deal.

The one on the left
is my son Nick.

As you round the bend in the road, there are woods on one side and an inlet of the sea on the other. Skeletal wooden deer start to appear among the trees then there is a yacht propped up on the verge. No sign of a house or anyone around. Blink and you miss it.

We pulled a U turn and parked by the yacht. A little meadow was inhabited by a dozen or so "people" made from rough-hewn fence posts with nails for eyes, all dressed in old clothes. On close inspection, the posts that supported the yacht all had faces and they were dressed too. Every one of these characters was different, innocent and charming, like a child's stick drawing, with eyes and limbs in places you wouldn't find them in an anatomy class.

Overhead was a very high washing line with lady's skirts flying on hoops, like kites. This added a lot of colour and more importantly movement to the surreal frieze around us. I loved it all and felt inspired to do some environmental art myself. It was a totally charming experience being there in a beautiful space with those wooden people.

Beyond the yacht, down a short track, lay a wooden house on the shore. It was obviously someone's cherished home with many signs of life, but no-one appeared. I would have loved to meet the anonymous people who made the land they owned into a sculpture park. If you know them, please put me in touch.

Don't ask me, I only live here!