World Of Adventure.

Tomb Blaster. Note my score, 14400 dead zombies!

It was late in the evening. I was tired and desperate for oblivion when my wife suggested that, the next day, we take our son Dan to a theme park. My response was to bury my head in the pillow and pretend to be asleep. I thought it worked pretty well, but inevitably the day dawned and the proposal had not been withdrawn. We packed provisions, printed vouchers and maps and set off into the mid-day haze with maternal high hopes on the one hand and paternal resignation on the other.

As we drove south down the Great North Road (it was great once, in about AD 58) I tuned in to the radio for traffic reports. It was all good with at least three major incidents on our route. Could we turn back now? Hell no. So we slogged down to the M25 and round the anti-clockwise route past Heathrow Airport and on to the leafy lanes and millionaire homes of Espom Forest in Surrey, all without coming to a total stop, which is unheard-of these days.

Giraffe

As we approached our destination I noticed that the temperature had dropped 3 degrees and was still falling. That's a lot when you start with 8! It was no longer a spring day and the light was waning despite it being only lunch-time. We bundled into coats and went through the registration process. At times like this, it's good to be over 60 as you get a healthy discount, but unfortunately Hanna failed the lie-detector and had to pay full whack.

Chessington World of Adventure used to be plain old Chessington Zoo and I'm afraid to say they still have animals in cages. That's a good enough reason to not go there, but there's more. Basically it's just naff.

Rhino.

There's no point in listing all its failings as compared to the big American and European theme parks because it's not in the same league; so let's look at the best bits.........

There you go then. Mind the step on your way out.

Our son Dan was really excited about this trip and we had to hold him back at the start, but he found the rides overstimulating and stressful. This was not the park's fault and I have to say that we were treated very well by the staff there. We did not have to wait in queues and we were given every assistance to get the best out of the rides. Disabled access is very poor but Dan is quite nimble really so it wasn't a problem for us.

Zoofari truck.

We did not try any of the really full-on rides, but enjoyed the Tomb Blaster ride best. It's like a "Raiders of the Lost Ark" shoot-em-up. We did it twice. Hocus Pocus Hall was OK, but they had a technical fault that meant we got all tee'd up and then had to go out and start again. Dan was really upset. You walk through a "haunted house" wearing 3D specs and that's it, but it is quite well done.

We took the Zufari truck expedition through the zoo. It was shamelessly based on the one at Disney's Animal Kingdom but fell far short of expectations. In Florida, you can hide all the fences and gates with vegetation so you get a jungle experience. Here we were obviously driving through bare enclosures in a zoo. They could do so much better if they hid all the sheds and feeding bags and took their time so the story line could sink in. It was all rushed and half-baked.

Safari Skyway.

A surprise success was a water ride called "Bubbleworks" which was Chessington's answer to "It's a Small World After All". It was a calm ride through a world of bubbles and rubber duckies, accompanied by annoying music. Dan quite liked it!

Finally, we went on the overhead "Safari Skyway" which would have been best at the start of the day as you get a good overview of the park.

I can't say we had a great day out, but we didn't feel cheated and it was early in the season. We got a pretty good sense of achievement out of simply getting there, doing it and getting back home.

Thanks to the young staff members, the day was really quite successful.

Dan and Hanna.