An election story

In the UK we are in the midst of an election that is nothing like any previous one that I have experienced before.  There are more contending parties and no party will probably be an outright winner. Some kind of coalition is almost inevitable. The previous election resulted in a coalition, but that was a surprise to many of us and it did not really work, in my view. 

I'm not against a coalition in principle, but our politicians are not good at team work. The House of Commons is basically the Eton Debating Society where politicians rejoice in polarising the arguments and slinging mud at each other in the hope that some will stick. It's no accident that so many successful debaters are also lawyers. The great debaters may win their case through brilliant rhetoric but the public usually loses out because they simply are not represented in Parliament. Politicians and commentators have referred to Politics as being a 'brutal game' with some pride. I hate that. 

When we lived in the Seychelles, we experienced the first "free" election there in many years. It was very amusing for us, but very serious for many Seychellois.

To set the scene; Seychelles was captured from the Napoleonic French and became a UK Overseas (or Dependant) Territory until it gained independence in 1977.  Then, while the former Prime Minister, James Mancham, was at the Commonwealth Conference in London, there was a coup and France Albert Rene became the  President. He broke away from ties with the UK and allied himself with the Soviets, cementing strong ties with Russia, Cuba and Tanzania. Despite several attempts to remove him, sometimes using mercenaries, he remained in power.

That was the situation when we arrived, but by then the Cold War was thawing out and there was a real problem regarding foreign exchange. Seychelles needed dollars to pay for loans, to import goods, to buy fuel for electricity generation and for re-fuelling aircraft. They had to meet the requirements of the EU (especially the British and French) and the Americans who rented a satellite tracking station, an embassy and a swanky residence for the Ambassador, as well as a lot of property for staff who worked as intelligence operators there. The one-party state was under siege from all sides so free elections were held. 

I spent a lot of time with small and medium business people who were frustrated with the socialist regime. These were people such as shop-keepers, tour operators and taxi drivers. I spent even more time with ex-pats who had been forced to tread carefully for years but longed for the lid to be taken off the system so they could make more money, basically. They all thought Rene was on his way out and I believed them. They were wrong.

Under the Seychelles Progressive People's Front (SPPF) over 60% of the population were employed by and paid by the government.  Then there were pensioners who often believed that Rene paid their pension out of his own pocket and people who were just afraid of change. I have to say, that for the poorest people in the population he was probably the best choice. He had a landslide victory. 

All the same, the run up to the elections was extremely entertaining for us ex-pats who could not vote but had a big stake in the outcome.

Three competing parties campaigned on STV and in the local papers. The SPPF would usually lead off on a slogan and poster campaign which was then ridiculed by the opposition which consisted of Mancham's Democratic Party and the Parti Seselwa, but to our eyes, A man who I think was called Berlouis was the star of the show.

Berlouis had been in charge of the Seychelles Navy and Coastguard and he was a real character. Unfortunately his wit was wasted on the populace and he soon joined a united opposition with Mancham and the others. 

Every week, the SPPF would put out a new message. Huge posters would appear that bore an image of Rene at the helm of an expensive yacht. The message was that Seychelles was ship and that, with Rene at the helm, our voyage would be fine. Berlouis responded with the idea that, yes, Seychelles was a ship, but that the captain was drunk. We were heading for the rocks!

Then, on National TV, Berlouis pretended to be a Swiss banker. 

"Ello, yes. Rene you say? Let me look. We have Amin, Castro, Hussain, Moi, er...Rene? Sorry we don't have his bank statement any more." 

Reverting to his own persona he responded, "That's because I've got it!" and he waved it in the air for us all to see.

The best campaign of all involved a picture of a rather attractive cow. The idea was that Seychelles was now a dairy cow! We assumed that the message was that Rene milked the cow and the public all had a share of the milk. 

"But who got the cream?" was Boule's response.

On election day, a pick-up truck carrying the cow from the campaign toured the island of Mahe and its capital Victoria, causing huge hilarity and good natured banter. The police over-reacted and arrested the cow, confining it to the police station where a crowd soon gathered calling for its release. "Laissez la vache" 

President Rene was re-elected but the island became a democracy, which satisfied the donors at the time. 

It was much more interesting election than the one that I will vote in tomorrow.